It’s already 2022! How did it get to be 2022? 2021 seems to have gone by in a blur but it left its mark on me. I am a person that struggles with mental health issues. I’ve learned to deal with those issues by putting things in a mental box and saying I will deal with the issue another day. I am pretty sure I have an entire warehouse of boxes that I need to go through.
In 2021 I said good bye to my very first baby goat. If you follow my instagram or Facebook page I made a few posts saying I had to put Aladdin to sleep on December 6th, 2021. In the above photo Aladdin is the baby goat on the ground with big ears. I miss that adorable goat every single day. In the above photo two other animals are gone. The horse nose sticking out between the barns of the stall is that of my old mare Julie (she was put down December 19, 2020). The third goat that is missing is Bear. The baby goat on the cart looking down at the ground. Bear is hopefully, still alive and living on a farm with a bunch of other goats in Massachusetts. I sold Bear in a fit of ‘I need to reduce the number of goats that I have’. I regret selling Bear every single day. Since I’ve put Aladdin down I regret selling Bear all the more.
I’ve got through a period of loss and with loss I have to face my inner doubts and the sadness that comes with having to say goodbye. Saying goodbye is something happens, it’s not easy. It never is but as a livestock owner I have to make the decision for what is best for the animal and the herd.
I digress, my main reason for writing this post was to address the loss of animals that I’ve experienced however, it was also to write about how I miss the old days. The days before Tik Tok and Special Effect filters, the days before snapchat and smart phones and all of the tech that we have now. I am tired of technology always needing to update. I am tired of being overwhelmed by trying to create an online presence.
An example, I created this website from scratch. I signed up for a WordPress domain and name. I paid for the upgrades to have more features and bells and whistles but now, I am overwhelmed by the website. I need to do a rebuild from scratch. I want streamline the website, make it one or two pages. It’ll take several days to do that but I am so out of touch with working on a computer. I’ve used my phone for so much lately and it is hard using a laptop. I am hard on laptops I type quickly and the processing speed of the computer always lags behind what I am trying to write. The proverbial hare running too fast for the tortoise. With handwriting you have to physically form every letter. With a computer you can create more with a few strokes of the fingers. I write this even as my laptop is driving me bonkers because it can’t keep up with my typing speed.