The farm is starting to get busy. I am excited but also tired. For those of you that don’t know- I, Felicia, have a sleep disorder call narcolepsy. At it’s very basic form narcolepsy is a disorder/disease that makes it hard for my body to sleep/rest properly. I like to tell people imagine a car with a gas leak- you can still drive it, still use it but you are going to have to fill it up more often and you won’t get as far. Most days I feel like that- as though I fill up my tank but barely make it out of the parking lot. When I get exhausted I start to think “if only this, or if only that”. I’ve been diagnosed with narcolepsy since 2009. I’ve had narcolepsy since 2005. I honestly cannot remember life without being tired. That is probably because I’ve had many concussions from riding.
I do remember being able to do a lot more. I remember looking around at life and thinking the world is at my fingertips and also feeling as though the world was a big place. It still is a big place but I’ve found my spot in it. I love what I do. Now, I think if only I had more time, if only I had more resources, if only I was able to better focus.
I started a blog called a Sleepy Equestrian. I wanted to write on it daily to chronolog my struggles living with this disorder. Recently, I tested my ability for longer car rides. I got to teach/judge my first clinic/show. I had a lot of fun! I learned a lot and I hope everyone else learned a lot as well! I know that it was a whirlwind weekend. I drank about 8 energy drinks and multiple cups of coffee to get through it. By Sunday afternoon I was so happy to be back home to my herd.
Aladdin’s belly seemed to do well for the most part. He is such a unique goat. He has a Fistulation in his belly. It seems to be healing and I want him to be whole to be a goat without having goo spew out his belly randomly. I feel his stress because he needs to eat and drink more to keep his energy up. His belly leaks nutrients everywhere. I am sure it isn’t fun for him when his belly starts to leak.
Maybe there is a fistulation in my brain, leaking energy out. Who knows. Anything is possible. If you happen to find a wealthy person who is interested in helping me set up a place for teens and adults to get to better know the animals, please keep me in mind!