Hank talks Poop

Hank eating hay

With all of the panic about coronavirus, Covid-19, Hank would like to talk about poop. Specifically, about the fact that humans seem to have an obsession with it. Out in the wild Hank would eat his poop because it was a source of nutrition. Hank believes that you shouldn’t waste anything. So, naturally he likes to eat his poop. Now, before you get all squeamish and say eww gross (which, I agree, it is rather gross). Let’s hear Hank out.

Life with humans is very strange- Hank

Hank coming to see if there are treats

Living with humans is very strange. They have all of these weird things that they do. One of the strangest things that I have found is their fascination with picking up poop. They use this large black thing and they have this tree branch looking thing that has teeth on the end. The humans will come into my area and they will use the tree branch to put the poop into the black thing. At first, I thought maybe they eat the poop. I eat my poop, it is full of nutrients and what better way to make use of your resources than by making sure to eat everything available to you. So I watched to see if maybe they ate the poop. Humans do not eat the poop. They put it into a giant pile and just let it sit there. Which makes no sense what so ever. Why would humans take the poop and then just pile it up? It’s wasted that way!

After a while there is a large machine that scoops up the poop into its big mouth but that machine doesn’t eat it either! Instead, it spits out the poop into another large trough, a trough for something huge! I’ve never seen anything eat out of that trough but I have seen another mechanical beast take the trough away. So, maybe there is a beast that eats it? I don’t understand why the humans would feed a beast that big but then again there is much about humans I don’t understand.

Hank taking a nap and wondering about humans

My solution to this confusion about poop is to eat the poop. If I eat the poop then the human doesn’t have to walk around in my paddock and take it away. If I eat the poop then I get left alone. If I eat the poop and the human sees me, she will yell at me and then bring me more hay. So, to me, eating poop makes life better for everyone and usually means I’ll get more food. It’s a win, win for everyone.

The human has said something about worms but I don’t know what she means about them. I think poop is good for the body. It has to be if the humans are so focused on taking it away! I think there is some sort of conspiracy going on.

Hank thinking about how weird humans are

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