For every business there is a slow season. For Hidden Meadow, January and Feburary are the slowest months. Which is great because it means I can breathe, relax and take stock of what was good, bad and ugly during the past year.
There was a lot of all three. 2019 was a difficult year. It was a year of hope, growth and disappointment. I was reminded that most people only want to be around because they want to take what they can. The farm’s reputation was dragged through the dirt and I should have seen the trouble coming but I wanted to believe people were good.
It’s difficult for me to write about everything, honestly, I can’t believe some of what happened. When I tell people about it they look at me like I’ve lost my mind or that I am telling a tall tale. Which I then decide to stop trying to explain.
My previous post I wrote about whether or not I should sell Ruger. Ultimately, I decided that Ruger needed to stay home, to stay at Hidden Meadow. The decision was difficult, I needed the money that would come from selling him. I wanted to reduce the number of horses and animals in my care. However, at the end of the day I have to be happy with the decisions I’ve made and selling him wasn’t sitting well in my stomach.
The other fun thing about this season is that I lost my job in November. I relied on my job to cover the expenses I had that weren’t covered by teaching riding lessons.
I am still unemployed, not for lack of looking but owning a small business and trying to work full time is difficult and I burnt myself out. I’m trying to heal myself while still taking care of the animals. It is hard to do both. I want to lock myself away and just melt into the air but I can’t do that. Not when I have so many animals that need constant care.
Which leads me to this strange place, a place I’ve grown quite used to. It’s a place of maybes and half formed thoughts, a place that is a puzzle that doesn’t have the correct pieces. A place that once filled me with hope but now I am filled with stress and worry. I’m sure everyone on the outside looking in has their opinions and assumptions but it is always easy to point fingers and judge when you are an observer. Life is difficult and confusing and often leaves me with a migraine but I am starting to learn that I can do this but not without help and it seems like everyone needs help these days.
If you are interested in helping the farm out please consider purchasing a bale of hay.
Thank you to everyone who has helped out and purchased hay! We greatly appreciate it.